I Wish it Were Over

I am giving up hope. I hear my Abba and Ima talking about the council and what may happen to me. They have many choices while I have none. They can cut off my hand, shave my head, tie me to a post for days, and beat me until bones are broken. And no one can say a word against them.

Banishment may be the kindest thing they can do. I don’t want to hope for that. It might interfere with something less horrible I have not thought of.

What am I to do? My days are filled with anguish and a bad tummy. I shake all over as I try to obey Ima’s instructions. When will the torture end? Whatever their decision, I hope it comes quickly. It is hard to live this way, not knowing what will happen and how I will survive.

I am sorry to write all this to you but it is the truth – the way it is for now and I don’t know how much longer. If you do not want to hear from me anymore I understand. I wouldn’t want to hear it either.

I will let you know as soon as I find out and thanks for being my friend.

If you don’t hear from me it will be because they chose death.

Pray for me.

Elisha

Mountain Of Full Moons is now available on Amazon .

Things are getting worse.

I was called before the council three times in the past four moons. They are very angry. I think they will banish me. If they do, how will I survive? I’m young and have never been anywhere but here and I’ve heard many stories of bandits who rape and kill for no reason. Where will I go? I do not know of any other places except Urusalim, of course. Everyone knows about that big city. How can I get there?

 

I know I am going on and on but I can’t figure out what to do or how to do it. If they banish me I may never see my family again. Never feel safe again. My head is in a tangle and I can’t straighten it out. Not even my brother can help me. He knows so much more than I do because he is a boy and gets taught all kinds of things. 

I am shaking so much I can’t write anymore. 

Please pray for me. I do not know what will happen until the next time I write. Thank you all for listening and not pushing me away because I am young and stupid. I am stupid – they tell me that all the time.

I must go and try to work it all out. Hope to talk to you soon.

If you know anything about my country and where I might be safe getting to and living there, Please, Please, let me know. I am willing to do any work that is wanted for my keep.

Mountain of Full Moons is now available on Amazon.